“I’m sorry!” she said as she slammed the door behind her and stormed off.
Have you experienced this scene before? How easy it is to say “I’m sorry” when really, you’re not sorry at all. Oh, maybe you’re sorry you got caught, but not truly sorry for what you did. Just because someone says “I’m sorry” doesn’t mean that they’ve turned from that sin. How can we know when someone truly is sorry? God’s word tells us that godly sorrow brings us to repent, or to turn from our sin and turn to God.
[9] yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance… [10] Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 2 Cor 7:9-10
The first thing we need to understand is that we all sin, and because of that, we need a Savior who will cover our sins and give us access to the personal relationship we need with God. When sorrow for our sin leads to repentance God forgives us and we are able to stand before Him. If we don’t ask for God’s salvation, then we will be faced with death in this life and in the eternal life to come. To understand more about accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior, please check out our “Becoming a Believer” page.
In the end, we really don’t know if someone has truly repented, only God knows. But you can see the fruit of true repentance through a person’s actions, given time.
[20] First to those in Damascus, then to those in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and to the Gentiles also, I preached that they should repent and turn to God and prove their repentance by their deeds. Acts 26:20
So, should you forgive them? Yes! God tells us to forgive others. We are to forgive them with a sacrificial love like Jesus gave for us on the cross. You don’t have to wait until they show repentance. Jesus didn’t wait for us to repent before He went to the cross.
[13] Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Col 3:13
Forgiveness is not only for the person who sinned, but it’s also for the person who was sinned against. Forgiveness heals your heart, and keeps bitterness from growing there.
So, what if you’re the one who messed up and sinned? How do you know you’re forgiven? God promises us, in His Word, to forgive us when we are repentant. When we’re forgiven, God doesn’t throw our sin back in our faces—He remembers them no more. He puts them out of His sight.
[9] If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 Jn 1:9
[12] as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Ps 103:12
How far is the east from the west? Point your right hand to the east and your left hand to the west. God loves us this much! Notice how much your hand position looks like that of Jesus on the cross. He died so your sins could be removed as far as the east is from the west. What a Savior!
Once you’ve asked God for forgiveness, receive it from Him. If you find yourself asking for forgiveness over and over for something you did way back when, you probably haven’t received God’s forgiveness. You may not even feel like you’ve been forgiven, but don’t go by your feelings. Receive, in faith, that God has forgiven you because that’s what His word says. Then thank Him for his forgiveness. What greater gift could He give us than forgiveness from sin and a restored relationship with Him?
In your process of repentance, make sure you ask those you’ve hurt to forgive you as well. Think about all the people who were affected by your sin and ask each one to forgive you. It’s their decision whether to forgive you or not, but it will give you a clear conscience that you’ve done your best to make things right. God will work on their heart, you just do your part!
What’s easier to say… “I’m sorry”, or “Please forgive me”? “Sorry” could just mean that you feel bad about the situation, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve turned from your sin. Asking for forgiveness means you have accepted your responsibility in the situation. It’s a way to heal the hearts of all who are involved and goes deeper than just saying “I’m sorry.” Asking for forgiveness is not easy, and it’s definitely humbling, but isn’t the healing worth it?
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for sending your Son to die for me so that I can have forgiveness. It’s through Your loving act on the cross that I am able to forgive others with the love you have revealed to me. Show me where I need to ask for forgiveness, and also where I need to forgive, then give me the strength to follow through. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
~Lisa
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